Sometimes in life you get those moments – horrible moments – where you loose track of what is possible. I don’t even like to admit to those moments. But last year I had one of those moments – only it wasn’t a moment, it lingered, for like a month. I believe in being positive, thinking positively, taking action, believing that anything is possible. I’m not a religious person, per se, but I am deeply spiritual so I try to move through my day with an awareness that everything (even uncomfortable stuff) is for the greater good.
And then I got into a place where I literally wondered if my family was going to be homeless. My husband works full time at a job that he has had for over 20 years. I left my job so that my son, who has autism, could recieve therapy in our home. We did research and found that this particular treatment is what is most effective with children who are in Jem’s category of autism. It is working, I call it the Autism Miracle in my Living Room. I am incredibly grateful. But it has had repercussions. One parent has to be home at all times during the therapy, but the parent has to be in another room and able to join the session at a moments notice. So basically you are stuck in your house and you can’t do anything that you can’t walk away from. Try finding a job that can work around that.
My husband and I decided to invest in a great deal of equipment and start a DVD transfer/video editing company. We took out a huge loan and set up business in our second bedroom. Business was okay but it was not replacing my income, month by month we were slipping further into the irretreivable red. We tried everything we could think of to supplement our income, but nothing worked with the time constraints on our autism schedule. And frankly that was and is our top priority.
Then last summer both my husband and I had cancer scares within a week of each other. Thank God, they were just scares but when it was over there were $4,000 in medical bills not covered by our insurance. It was the last straw. I lost my ability to see a way out. I just couldn’t see it. Things just seemed to get blacker and blacker in my mind until I hit bottom and said out loud, We need help! That was the moment that Sandra Beck instant messaged me.
She wanted some video tapes converted. I was thrilled to recconect with her after a couple of years and I was thrilled to have some business. When I went to her house to pick up the video tapes we talked. It was amazing. She was the answer to a prayer. In one half hour she showed me more things having to do with using your computer to run a business from home than I had learned in 10 years of using a computer combined. Where I had lost site of possibilities, Sandra was moving around in a universe filled with possibilities and endless opportunities. I felt like I was 17 again with nothing but choices! It was a wonderful feeling. So I went to work with Sandra.
I have a lot of financial wreckage to dig through from the years before I went to work with her, but at least the digging has begun and I am no longer fearful of being homeless.
Sandra has been teaching me to work hard, but to work smart. She has give me endless tips on how to make my business work for me instead of me working for my business. And she not only accepts that my top priority is being Mom, she encourages it. I remember the first business call I was on with her and my son started to freak out, I was embarrassed, mortified and trying to get him to be quiet and so I apologized to Sandra. She quickly told me that I never ever had to apologize for having responsibilities to my child, that our children always get to be priority one, that they are always welcome at business meetings whether in person or on the phone. I remember taking a deep breath and thinking, “Thank God for Sandra!”
In that moment she had given me permission to work and be a Mom. What a gift! Aside from my son, the best gift I have ever been given. Sandra has reminded me that I am a business woman with marketable skills. I have to be honest, I had forgotten or at the very least minimized my capablities. Not anymore. And I am gaining new skills all the time! What a difference. And when I thank Sandra she says, “Pass it On! Pay it Forward!” So if you are having one of those “moment” write in to Motherhood Incorporated. Help is here!
Then things went sideways. Right in the middle of vacuuming they started fighting. I asked them to work it out, hold on, maybe straighten up their rooms while I finished, but there would be none of that. I looked at the clock to see if maybe it was naptime which, thank goodness it was, but now they were both crying, screaming at each other and any second it was going to come to blows.
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