Lately I find myself thinking more and more about the importance of relaxation. The need and rewards of relaxation are known by many, but few people seem to realize what actual qualifies as relaxation for another person.
As I ponder the possibilities of relaxation, how much, when, and how I will achieve a peaceful state of mind, I find myself in the most awkward of conversations. In my last blog I explained the trouble I have had explaining motherhood to my childfree by choice friends, and now I have a new explanation before me: why being a mother is not relaxing.
Before I explore this subject too deeply, I should clarify that I have not had to convince anyone of the copious amount of worrying I do as a mother. This extraordinary level of paranoia coupled with motherhood appears to be a generally accepted fact. The few naysayers I have encountered on this subject have stood corrected once I explain to them my mother, the woman who believes nine year-old children should still be on leashes in busy places (otherwise known as any place outside of her home).
Instead, I find myself explaining to my friends and even my husband why motherhood is not relaxing on another level. For example, today I am sitting at home. I taught a class this morning, and now I am home with my baby. The house is clean and the laundry is done, so clearly I will be relaxing all day. Of course, I have an almost-eight-month-old baby who crawls faster than the average person runs and has recently discovered the joy of pulling herself up on every available surface, twisting all of the knobs on any available location (particularly the stereo), and sticking everything in her mouth. I have three dogs, one of whom barks if I show any indication that I am available for activity that does not revolve around him. With these three dogs comes a myriad of dog toys splayed across my floors. Did I mention my daughter’s propensity for putting things in her mouth? I also have my at-home job, Motherhood Inc.
Now allow me a moment to defend myself against the inevitable onslaught of “Don’t you enjoy all of this?” Of course I do. I cannot put into words how much I love spending time with my baby. My dogs are my best friends. My job allows me to do what I love, write, and make money at it from the comfort of my own couch. None of this, however, is relaxation.
My baby requires constant supervision. My dogs require an exorbitant amount of attention and energy. My job requires time and attention. I may spend the entire day in my own living room, but I can assure you, I’m not relaxing. To the outsiders, of course, I have the most relaxing life. I no longer have to worry about all of the details of a “real” job. As mothers, we can all share a collective laugh here before I continue.
At the end of the day my husband comes home. He settles in to play with our daughter, and I breathe my sigh of relief. Now, I can relax. The dishes will wait; the laundry will wait, and the dogs have finally begun to sleep. I have a choice: I can began my relaxation now, or I can take the time to explain why the relaxation experience is so absolutely necessary at the end of my taxing day. With this blog as my explanation in hand, I will relax.
These bins and baskets do not need to be expensive and you don’t need a professional that will come in and design a closet system for you. Plastic totes are usually available at any store and are usually very affordable. Shoes boxes can be painted or papered and used. Make it a craft project for the child and he or she will be more likely to use the container. Dollar stores usually have bins and baskets as well – laundry baskets, food storage containers, and desk organizers can work just as well for your child’s toys.
My daughter Alina turns 3 years old today.
Identify the important. The first step in de-cluttering is identifying which toys and other possessions are truly important to the kids. What do they play with, what do they love? Then get rid of as much of the rest as possible, keeping only those they use and love. But remember, you do need to get the kids involved in this process. It’s easy for you to think that a particular toy is no longer used, when in fact, it could be greatly missed.
For days I’ve been staring at a blank computer screen. 
But take heart! Even the busiest, most distracted person can find ways to get organized and stay on top of everything without losing it. Here’s some tips:
Ever been on a video conference and had your child stand in front of the webcam? It happened to me today while I was deep in conversation with my book collaborator for our weekly call. Like a conscientious mommy, I had set up Alina in the next room with a “fruit” water on her special chair in front of the TV before the meeting, and I was enjoying a professional (read: quiet and adult) discourse. Nevermind that Blues Clue’s was blaring in the background or that my colleauge may have heard it; for the first time in a long time, I was busy at work but tending to my daughter and feeling that, yes, I could somehow strike a contented (if albeit temporary) career/mom balance. Suddenly Alina’s little voice broke in. 
of my family’s needs, something throws the whole thing off. 
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