Motherhood Incorporated

By Sandra Beck, Motherhood Incorporated

Self-esteem—a word that carries with it our belief system, our thoughts about ourselves and our lives and our vision of ourselves.   It is fragile and easily destroyed and needs to be continually renewed.  Have you ever thought about how others see you and what they perceive as the “real” you?  I know I am frequently questioning myself on how someone might see me and how that differs from how I see myself. 

Self-esteem is created during our formative years in childhood. We carry it with us into adulthood. It sounds like such a strong word but it takes just a few unkind words or actions by another person to destroy it.  But I am learning that it can be rebuilt with a few simple actions on my part.

-Each morning when you look in the mirror, say to your reflection:  I am a strong, independent woman. I am the only one in control of my destiny. I will work hard today to find the positive side to every situation.

-Surround yourself with positive people.  Look for others who share similar interests and values and connect with them.

-Build a network of friends whom you could call when you are feeling down and need a little boost to your self-esteem.

-Take time out each day for yourself, even if it’s only a few minutes.  Meditate, take a hot bath, go for a walk. Take this time to reaffirm to yourself that you matter, that you are important, and that you are in control.

Simple steps that are easily achieved but will go far to help you build (or rebuild) your self-esteem.

I hope you enjoy reading these blogs as much as I enjoy writing them!  Should you have any questions about Motherhood Incorporated either as a client or as a mom looking for work, please email me directly at sandra@motherhoodincorporated.com or you can check us out at www.motherhoodincorporated.com  and www.sandrabeck.com.

By Shannon Penrod

Forget New Year’s Resolutions, this year I am ready for New Life Resolutions.  Tony Robbins says it takes 27 days to create a new habit, that may be, but it only takes me one weekend to annihilate a 27 day habit and make it seem like a mirage in Vegas.  27 days isn’t enough time for me to right this crazy mixed up life of mine, but 60 days is enough time for me to really get back on track – this is my theory anyway. So for the next 60 days I am going to be making a conscious and concerted effort to create the life and lifestyle of my dreams, while shamelessly blogging about all of my adventures and misadventures. I would love some company along the way.  Who’s in?  Whether you would like to just read, make an occasional snarky comment, or take the plunge and create your own 60 day challenge, it’s all good! I’m looking for accountability and camaraderie and I’ll take whatever I can get.

For me there are 4 main areas that I am planning on targeting, physical health, spiritual health, mental health and career/financial health.  I know it doesn’t cover everything but what it doesn’t cover can probably slide neatly under the mental health umbrella.

Physical health is a big deal. At 47 I am warming up to the idea that I’m in a use it or lose it situation.  I get down on the floor to play with my six year old and it takes a crane and two firemen to get me on my feet again.  Okay, I exaggerate, but not by much.  Things are better than they were – I have lost 25 pounds, but there are still 25 more that need to go.  I had that harrowing mishap with a LEGO soldier this summer….I sat in a chair for 10 minutes and then stood up to walk across the living room. I felt this shrieking, searing pain in my butt and down my leg.  Horrible, white hot pain, so bad that I immediately thought we needed to call an ambulance.  It was so bad that I doubled over and grabbed the back of my leg, which is when I felt something hard and plastic.  I yanked it out and then stared down at what had caused such pain – a LEGO soldier, complete with a medieval helmet and sword!  Apparently my fat #@!! had sat on it for 10 minutes without registering it – and then when I stood up my butt sucked it up and tucked it in the crease of blubber separating by bum from the top of my leg, giving new meaning to “junk in the trunk”.  Hard to argue that you are not fat when you can hide Spamalot LEGOs in your  #@!!  So the weight is halfway there, but the exercise thing is sporadic at best. No more, my friends.  I have my Wii fit, I have my Bob Greene personal trainer program for the Wii and I have my gym membership for 60 more days.  It’s time to get serious or stand shame faced in front of all of you and admit that I’m comfortable with primary colored plastic adhered to my tuckus.

Spiritual health is another area where I may not be completely lost but it is definitely time to set the bar higher.  In the last few years I have treated God like a really good friend that I can count on when the chips are down, but that I never bother calling unless I need something in a hurry.  That ends today. I know that meditation helps me on all levels; I just don’t make the time to do it.  I’ve gotten into a habit of just surviving and not being gentle with myself.  Not taking the time in the morning to be centered and to remember that there is something infinitely bigger than me and my petty little problems.  So I am going to take the time to have a relationship with myself and my higher power every day.  I am going to make the time to breathe in and breathe out with a concept that I am not driving this bus by myself.  I am going to go back to my simple prayers of asking for God’s will in my life and the strength to carry it out.  I know from past experience that this simple action has the ability to change my life in 3 seconds and committing to it for 60 days can only be more powerful.

Speaking of mental health, these 60 days I am making a commitment to deal with what is and not all the peripheral garbanzo.  When I find myself stressed, irritated, frazzled and or overwhelmed I am going to cut right to the chase and ask myself what I am afraid of.  I learned this year that this is the heart of the matter, it only took being on a reality show for me to get it.  It doesn’t matter; I got it, now I am going to use it.  Fear, fear, fear, fear all the time, the all fear channel!  Except I am not afraid of everything.  When I actually face the fear, I usually discover that at the base there is only one fear and facing it dissipates it.  This year I am not going to be afraid to be uncomfortable.  Face it, write about it, take action move on.  Ahhhh, mental health.

Lastly, but not any less important is career/financial health.  When I had my son almost seven years ago it was as though I had a personal ambitionectomy.  They handed me that bundle of joy and poof!  It was as though I didn’t have another thought or desire in the world.  Some would say it was post partum depression, which I certainly suffered.  At the time I attributed to having “love affair brain”.  I was in love with my new baby, I didn’t want to think or care about anything else.  Everything else was black and white, he was in color!  After a year and a half I started feeling the tug of my old life and was slowly easing back into it and then things went haywire.  My child seemed to be slipping away from me, except he didn’t seem to be slipping away, he WAS slipping away.  He was eventually diagnosed with Autism.  Poof! Personal Ambition gone again.  Next week will be the four year anniversary of my son’s diagnosis; we aren’t completely out of the woods yet, but we are miles from where we started.  So as of today, publicly, I am taking back my personal ambition.  Ohhhhhh, slightly scary to write that, but very exciting!  I am excited to see what the next 60 days will bring. 

Financially, well, I refer back to the fear section, and the paragraph on prayer.  I want to get my financial house in order.  This seems like a hysterically funny statement.  My financial house is so far from being in order; it isn’t even a shack on stilts in a third world country.  I am a Suze Orman nightmare.  However, there is nothing that God and I can’t do together, right?  So, I am going to fearlessly set out on the path of financial health and trust that all things are possible.  I don’t really have any choice.  This is my new life, where I can breathe without anxiety, walk up stairs without wondering if I need to call a cardiologist, my bras fit without an extender and I don’t have to dread checking my bank balance.  This is the new life where my yoga mat and I are friends, when I trust that every hair on my head and my child’s is counted and I am always provided for.

I like this new life already.  Stay tuned and come with me!

By Sandra Beck, Motherhood Incorporated

Self-esteem—a word that carries with it our belief system, our thoughts about ourselves and our lives and our vision of ourselves.   It is fragile and easily destroyed and needs to be continually renewed.  Have you ever thought about how others see you and what they perceive as the “real” you?  I know I am frequently questioning myself on how someone might see me and how that differs from how I see myself. 

Self-esteem is created during our formative years in childhood. We carry it with us into adulthood. It sounds like such a strong word but it takes just a few unkind words or actions by another person to destroy it.  But I am learning that it can be rebuilt with a few simple actions on my part.

-Each morning when you look in the mirror, say to your reflection:  I am a strong, independent woman. I am the only one in control of my destiny. I will work hard today to find the positive side to every situation.

-Surround yourself with positive people.  Look for others who share similar interests and values and connect with them.

-Build a network of friends whom you could call when you are feeling down and need a little boost to your self-esteem.

-Take time out each day for yourself, even if it’s only a few minutes.  Meditate, take a hot bath, go for a walk. Take this time to reaffirm to yourself that you matter, that you are important, and that you are in control.

Simple steps that are easily achieved but will go far to help you build (or rebuild) your self-esteem.

I hope you enjoy reading these blogs as much as I enjoy writing them!  Should you have any questions about Motherhood Incorporated either as a client or as a mom looking for work, please email me directly at sandra@motherhoodincorporated.com or you can check us out at www.motherhoodincorporated.com  and www.sandrabeck.com.

By Sandra Beck, Motherhood Incorporated

If you told me last Christmas that I would be celebrating as a single parent this Christmas I would have laughed at you.  But circumstances being what they are, I indeed face this Christmas as a single parent. While the prospect of this is a little frightening I have never been one to shrink away from a challenge.

I have always looked forward to the holidays, decorating the house, cooking holiday meals, and baking holiday cookies.  These traditions don’t have to end just because there’s one less person in the house and I have the opportunity to create new traditions with my sons, how exciting!

I already continued on with my yearly tradition of my Toys for Tots party and got to spend an amazing day with friends and family in addition to doing something for others less fortunate than I.  This helped me realize just how blessed I am. 

I also have an opportunity to spend quality time with my sons and to show them some stability in their life, something they desperately need right now.  Going to the mall and getting our annual Christmas photo done was just the beginning.  We went together to the local craft store and bought some crafts that we can work on together to decorate our home for the holidays.  They get such enjoyment in not only participating in the crafts but also helping to decorate the house creating a festive atmosphere.  It helps me too, seeing the decorations my sons helped make when my sons are with their dad, it boosts my spirit.

Make the most of your holiday and create new traditions!  We at Motherhood Incorporated wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas!

I hope you enjoy reading these blogs as much as I enjoy writing them!  Should you have any questions about Motherhood Incorporated either as a client or as a mom looking for work, please email me directly at sandra@motherhoodincorporated.com or you can check us out at www.motherhoodincorporated.com and www.sandrabeck.com.

By Sandra Beck, Motherhood Incorporated

The holidays are fast-approaching so here are some tips for you as a single mom:

Shop online and start early, especially since you don’t know how long items may take to ship. I find that making a list and heading to www.amazon.com and taking advantage of their free shipping to be helpful. I also have a credit card with www.llbean.com and find that using it for free shipping, no sales tax (for California) and free monogramming a great way to give useful and monogrammed gifts.

Spend your money wisely. Be sure not to go crazy with the clicks of your mouse. I set a budget for each person – including tax and shipping.

Shop the clearance section of the web site.  You don’t know what you may find and you will save money at the same time.

Take the time to look for online coupons and other promotions. It’s about getting the most for the money.

Usually you can get free shipping if you spend the most money in one store or online store so try to get the most gifts at one place so you qualify for free shipping or other promotions if possible.

However, remember that if you only want one or two items, it would be cheaper to go directly to the store- that is if you don’t mind spending the gas and time to get there as well as possibly fighting crowds.

Keep a positive attitude during this season when you are shopping. Try not to let the crowds, traffic and overall chaos upset you. You can shop from the comfort of your home and save time by shopping online.  Good luck and may your dollar stretch beyond your wildest dreams.

I hope you enjoy reading these blogs as much as I enjoy writing them! Should you have any questions about Motherhood Incorporated either as a client or as a mom looking for work, please email me directly at sandra@motherhoodincorporated.com or you can check us out at www.motherhoodincorporated.com and www.sandrabeck.com.

By Sandra Beck, Motherhood Incorporated

It’s the time of the year where I reflect back on where I started and what I have accomplished over the past twelve months.  It’s been a rollercoaster year for me, with twists and turns and ups and downs to countless to mention.  One thing that has carried me through especially in the tough times has been my faith.

At first I questioned my faith when things were really tough.  Soon though, I realized that when all else failed my faith would carry me through.  The trouble was where to find time for faith.

I set out to do something spiritual for myself each day.  This could take many forms from reading an inspirational book to creating an inspirational blog.  I learned to surround myself with others of my same set of values and morals creating a network of people I could rely on bring me up when I was down.

I got back into attending church more regularly. Listening to the sermons and trying to apply them to my life has helped me to make some sense out of the chaos that often surrounds me.  It has created for me a sense of peace and happiness and has helped me to seek out the positive in any situation.

No matter what your faith or religious background is, finding time for faith will go a long way to creating a happier and more peaceful you.  In the words of George Michael,  you gotta have faith, faith, faith!

I hope you enjoy reading these blogs as much as I enjoy writing them!  Should you have any questions about Motherhood Incorporated either as a client or as a mom looking for work, please email me directly at sandra@motherhoodincorporated.com or you can check us out at www.motherhoodincorporated.com and www.sandrabeck.com.

By Sandra Beck, Motherhood Incorporated

Extracurricular activities are an important part of your child’s life. They allow your child to experience different aspects of the outside world through an organized activity.  These activities can be sports related such as soccer, football, or cheerleading or they may be related to the arts such as dance or a drawing class.

Though you might not believe it, the extracurricular activities your child participates in now will help them when applying for college in the future. Good colleges are looking for students who are well-rounded—students who have life experiences outside of school that they can draw upon.

Just as important as providing these extracurricular activities for your child is being involved in them as well.  Your involvement can be as simple as watching them participate in these activities to participating in them along with your child.  Mommy and me classes are a great way to start this with your younger child.  With your school age child, getting involved in scouting organizations is a great way to be a part of your child’s life.  In the teenage years it is crucial for children to be involved in extracurricular activities to keep them doing something positive and surrounding themselves with the right people, and it is as important for you to take part in these activities as well even if it’s as a spectator.

Make it a point to get involved with your child’s extracurricular activities, it shows your child you are interested in what they are doing and that you care. What a great life lesson!

I hope you enjoy reading these blogs as much as I enjoy writing them!  Should you have any questions about Motherhood Incorporated either as a client or as a mom looking for work, please email me directly at sandra@motherhoodincorporated.com or you can check us out at www.motherhoodincorporated.com and www.sandrabeck.com.

By Sandra Beck, Motherhood Incorporated

As a single mom, are you looking for an all-inclusive resource that will provide you with articles and tips on various topics related to single moms and their kids? SingleMom.com (www.singlemom.com) is the site you have been searching for. It provides tips and resources on a variety of topics including:

Education & Career- financial aid and scholarships, articles and tips and employment resources
Help For Moms In Need- basic needs resources and drug and health care programs
Housing – housing programs and owning a home
Finances- resources and articles and monthly advice
Parenting – advice and resources
Day To Day – articles and tips
Health and Well Being – healthy living, articles and resources
Cooking and Recipes – eating healthy
Kid Stuff – kids learning
Legal Issues- Information including child custody and domestic violence and victim assistance

A lot of the information on this site is particularly helpful late at night – when you are totally worn out and trying to get everything done – yet spending time surfing the web for new ideas.  It is totally overwhelming at times – trying to be both mother and father…and trying to provide for your kids the same way a dual couple would.  But, with two hands and two incomes – it is very hard – and sometimes demoralizing for a single mom to keep up.   Though there are no races and no competitions – it can and continues to be a challenge for every single mom out there.

The above is a complete list of topics, but only a partial list of the sub topics under each topic. For more resources you may also want to visit www.singlemotherresources.com .

I hope you enjoy reading these blogs as much as I enjoy writing them! Should you have any questions about Motherhood Incorporated either as a client or as a mom looking for work, please email me directly at sandra@motherhoodincorporated.com or you can check us out at www.motherhoodincorporated.com and www.sandrabeck.com

By Sandra Beck, Motherhood Incorporated

For the past 21 years my company and I have sponsored a Toys for Tots toy drive to collect new and gently used toys for those less fortunate than ourselves.  We hosted a toy drive yesterday complete with Marines in dress uniform collecting the toys.  I invited a group of my friends and their children as well as some of my clients and their families to join in the celebration.

Throughout the year I have my son’s go through their toys and see what gently used toys or stuffed animals they might like to donate.  My friends do the same with their children.  I have bins in my garage where I place the collected toys. By the time the annual party is held I already have a good sized collection of toys donated.  Last year we donated over 1,000 toys to Toys for Tots.

I make it a point to include my children in the process thereby laying the groundwork for building a strong set of values for my sons.  Letting them know that such a simple gesture as giving away a toy can mean so much to another child that may not get any helps them to appreciate the spirit of giving.

Children of all ages can learn from this experience.  Even my friend’s teenage daughter learned the value of charity by helping me with this year’s toy drive as well as with one of my other’s children’s charities by being a mentor to younger girls.

It’s never too early to teach your children values that will last them a lifetime!

I hope you enjoy reading these blogs as much as I enjoy writing them!  Should you have any questions about Motherhood Incorporated either as a client or as a mom looking for work, please email me directly at sandra@motherhoodincorporated.com or you can check us out at www.motherhoodincorporated.com and www.sandrabeck.com.

By Sandra Beck, Motherhood Incorporated

I recently read an article in a fitness magazine that said that a person should take at least 10,000 steps a day to stay healthy.  I thought to myself, that’s easy, surely I do that just in the first few hours of my day.  So off I went to the local sports store to buy myself a pedometer so I could keep track of just how many steps I take in a day.

When I get up in the morning I attach the pedometer to my clothes.  Periodically throughout the day I check to see just how close I am to my daily goal of 10,000 steps.  The other day around noon I looked at my pedometer expecting to see I was nearly to my goal, only to find I had only taken 1,500 steps so far that day.

How am I supposed to get in all those steps in a day?  I have figured a few tricks to add steps to my day while still getting my work done.  As I work out of my home I got up and walked around my kitchen, living room, dining room, and office as I talked on the phone rather than sitting at my desk.  This way I am getting some exercise while getting my work done.  I can also take more steps in a day just by parking a little further away from the front of the school when I drop off or pick up my son from school.

My daily schedule also includes some “me” time where I take a walk around my neighborhood. It is a time to think through my day, clear my head, and get some fresh air, all while getting in my 10,000 steps a day and getting healthy.

So, take steps (10,000 to be exact) to being a healthier you!

I hope you enjoy reading these blogs as much as I enjoy writing them! Should you have any questions about Motherhood Incorporated either as a client or as a mom looking for work, please email me directly at sandra@motherhoodincorporated.com or you can check us out at www.motherhoodincorporated.com and www.sandrabeck.com.

By Sandra Beck, Motherhood Incorporated

The holidays are fast-approaching so here are some tips for you as a single mom:

Shop online and start early, especially since you don’t know how long items may take to ship. I find that making a list and heading to www.amazon.com and taking advantage of their free shipping to be helpful. I also have a credit card with www.llbean.com and find that using it for free shipping, no sales tax (for California) and free monogramming a great way to give useful and monogrammed gifts.

Spend your money wisely. Be sure not to go crazy with the clicks of your mouse. I set a budget for each person – including tax and shipping.

Shop the clearance section of the web site.  You don’t know what you may find and you will save money at the same time.

Take the time to look for online coupons and other promotions. It’s about getting the most for the money.

Usually you can get free shipping if you spend the most money in one store or online store so try to get the most gifts at one place so you qualify for free shipping or other promotions if possible.

However, remember that if you only want one or two items, it would be cheaper to go directly to the store- that is if you don’t mind spending the gas and time to get there as well as possibly fighting crowds.

Keep a positive attitude during this season when you are shopping. Try not to let the crowds, traffic and overall chaos upset you. You can shop from the comfort of your home and save time by shopping online.  Good luck and may your dollar stretch beyond your wildest dreams.

I hope you enjoy reading these blogs as much as I enjoy writing them! Should you have any questions about Motherhood Incorporated either as a client or as a mom looking for work, please email me directly at sandra@motherhoodincorporated.com or you can check us out at www.motherhoodincorporated.com and www.sandrabeck.com.

By Sandra Beck, Motherhood Incorporated

Wanting to spend a little more quality time with my oldest son I decided to get involved with the Boy Scouts of America.  Not only was I building a foundation for my son’s future, I was building our relationship as well.

Little did I know what I was getting myself into!  I volunteered to be a den mother for my son’s Cub Scout troop. Not wanting to do this alone (especially because I am not the best at pitching a tent) I enlisted the help of a family friend. His son and mine had been friends since preschool.

Soon I was immersed in planning meetings, field trips, and activities—all with the goal of earning badges for our young charges.  I purchased my den mother uniform and had a seamstress friend apply the proper patches (sewing isn’t my strong suit).  I put it on and looked in the mirror and saw Marcia Brady looking back out at me—flashback to the Brady Bunch episode where Marcia tries to prove she can do anything her brothers can do and do it better.

Then of course I had to go through all the training—outdoor activity training, training on how to help the boys earn badges, and of course training on all the rules and regulations of the Boy Scouts. But it’s all worth it when I see the smile on my son’s face when we’re spending this quality time together or at the end of the day when my son climbs onto my lap and says “I love you, thanks for being my mom”!

I hope you enjoy reading these blogs as much as I enjoy writing them!  Should you have any questions about Motherhood Incorporated either as a client or as a mom looking for work, please email me directly at sandra@motherhoodincorporated.com  or you can check us out at www.motherhoodincorporated.com and www.sandrabeck.com.

By Sandra Beck, Motherhood Incorporated

Here are a few homemade crafts that you can do with your young kids.

Homemade Playdough

You will need:

1 cup of salt
1 cup of flour
1 cup of water
Cookie cutters
Rolling pin
Food coloring

Put the salt and flour in a large, unbreakable bowl and then drape your kids with old shirts and let them mix those ingredients completely with their hands or wooden spoons. Next, slowly add water to which a few drops of food coloring have been added. Continue to mix everything, then knead the dough until it is smooth and elastic but not sticky. You can dump the dough on a flat floured surface and let your kids roll it out with the rolling pin. You may need to help them out. Let your kids use the cookie cutters or other objects such as bottle tops, lids, or chopsticks to make different shapes in the dough.

Pudding Paint

You will need:
Instant vanilla pudding
Food coloring
Paper plates

Mix the pudding according to the package directions and add food coloring to attain the desired color. Lay out the paper plates and let your kids use the pudding to paint on them. The good news is that this is completely edible paint!

Kool-Aid Finger Paint

You will need:
2 cups of flour
2 packs of unsweetened Kool-Aid
½ cup of salt
3 cups of boiling water
3 T of oil
Paper

Mix the wet ingredients into the dry, lay out the paper, and let your kids paint whatever they want.

I hope you enjoy reading these blogs as much as I enjoy writing them! Should you have any questions about Motherhood Incorporated either as a client or as a mom looking for work, please email me directly at sandra@motherhoodincorporated.com or you can check us out at www.motherhoodincorporated.com and www.sandrabeck.com

By Sandra Beck, Motherhood Incorporated

As working mothers we work hard every day to maintain our household, care for our children, and maintain our relationships with our husbands and friends. But what do we do for us?  We are so busy caring for others we forget to care for ourselves, to take a little “me” time.

“Me” time, what a concept!  It should be a daily occurrence, a time we set aside for ourselves.  Set out and plan a block of time, even just 15 minutes, for your “me” time each day. Use this time to meditate, take a walk, take a hot bath, or even just a power nap.

Sit down and make a list of some things you’d like to do for yourself and how much time you need to do them.  Make it a point to schedule in at least one of these things into each day. “Me” time can be shared too, get a group a friends together and take a walk or call a friend just to chat.

I have made it a point to do something to improve myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually each day.  I start my day by writing down what I will do for me in each of those categories and at the end of the day I can review this and see just how much I was able to accomplish. This can be a real boost to the ego! 

I think you will find as I have that just taking a little time for yourself each day can work wonders in improving your outlook on life and your attitude.

I hope you enjoy reading these blogs as much as I enjoy writing them! Should you have any questions about Motherhood Incorporated either as a client or as a mom looking for work, please email me directly at sandra@motherhoodincorporated.com or you can check us out at www.motherhoodincorporated.com and www.sandrabeck.com.