My Mom has been visiting. For the first time this visit I really felt that amazing circle of 
motherhood that I’ve always heard about. I was standing in my livingroom talking to my mother and feeling like a daughter when my four year old came up and grabbed my legs and said, “Mama, I want a drink.” There was a strange out of body moment. I don’t get to be around my Mom much any more. The last time I saw her was about a year ago, but my brain almost immediately reverts to be 16 years old when I am around her.Â
I don’t mean that in a negative way. I mean that there is a comfort level and an innocence that returns to me when my mother is around. I have that “nothing can go wrong as long as Mom is here” feeling. I’m an adult now and I know that my mother’s presence does not solve all mysteries and guarantee no wrongs, but still my head goes there when she is around. I know that this is the way my son feels when I am around. Like he is safe, and nothing can harm him. This is the gift that we give our children when they are little.Â
But for the first time ever I felt myself and my son feeling this “mommy safeness” in the same moment. It was odd to say the least. I had a small moment of identity crisis. Am I a daughter or a Mom? Quickly my head answered “Both!” I’m just not used to occuping both of those roles physically in the same space. It took me a moment, but I realized that I was incredibly lucky to have this opportunity, not everyone is so lucky. I’d like to think that one day I will be a daughter, a mother and a grandmother all in the same physical space. Giving birth to my child at 40 makes that a little bit of a long shot but I can hope. Nora Ephron likes to define her life by listing 5 roles at any given moment – mine right now would be Mother, Wife, Daughter, Friend, Writer. I waited a long time to list mother on that list. I’m deeply grateful that Daughter still has its place.
